just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we're making bets on your personal life
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
