So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
