just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
