he shaved USA in his pubs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
