i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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