Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
