When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
nutella sex= disaster
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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