Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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