we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize