when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
