Your dad touched me again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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