If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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