Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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