i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
