Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
