You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize