she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
