I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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