you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
