dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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