i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
