some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
