i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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