why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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