I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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