is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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