Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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