Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
