is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
