Who wears a wallet chain?!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
