"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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