he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
