She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
