dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
