Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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