my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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