remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think i got beer on your cat.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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