Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
