on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
