Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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