i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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