Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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