i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
