I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
