At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
