So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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