She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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