he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
