i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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