Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
