Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
