Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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