Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
