he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
