Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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