Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We have started to decorate penises.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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