Sry I called you an 8
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Hippo gnu deer
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
