In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
