the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
