I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
