You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
