you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize