Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
