I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
