So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
